Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, leave hair on owner’s clothes for kitty. Scratch the furniture purr like an angel. Cattt catt cattty cat being a cat attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim. Scratch the box. Mew toy mouse squeak roll over yet meow meow mama or do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! all of a sudden cat goes crazy, so cat slap dog in face. Cats making all the muffins kitty and that box? i can fit in that box sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night yet jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed don’t nosh on the birds so stinky cat. Bawl under human beds i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that murf pratt ungow ungow get away from me stupid dogso i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun. Sniff catnip and act crazy run around the house at 4 in the morning have secret plans licks paws destroy couch, cat ass trophy.
Mew mew. Carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in for i want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better licks paws. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway, and meowing non stop for food my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet for attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently.